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R.I.P. Dog

13:00 - 01 November 2015


Author: sklara


Category: General




Dear Family, You will probably fight or blame each other for the past. But the hurt will pass. Yes. Though you are still alive - and you are there for each other. The five stages of loss and grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.



When we learn the truth that death is the final diagnose, we say: ’No. This is impossible. It can’t happen to us. Not yet. Not with us. No.’ - Then - as we humans easily fall - so we need to find a scapegoat. At least one. We are angry for our family members, friends, the seller at the butchery who reserved a piece of loin for our pretty dog… It must have been them or him who caused our pain..

 

Dear Owner, what I’m telling you now, is going to hurt your feelings. But if you are strong enough - go on. 

 

A dog is not an animal, not yet a human (Vilmos Csányi)
A dog is not an animal, not yet a human (Vilmos Csányi)
Photo: hirek.sk

 

This is the most dangerous stage. Because now you can lose all the people, who still live. The ones that are there for you. And I’m asking you now, please, please keep in mind that they are human beings. Your dog is your best friend and most loyal friend. But he’s a dog, not a human. This is important to remember, but we often tend to forget about it. He stood by you through the good and bad times, even in the worst moments of your life. I’m sorry, but what if your mother/father/brother/sister/partner or best (human) friend died? And please, don’t tell me that ’it could have been a lot better’ - because we both know that you could never forgive yourself these words…

 

It was beautiful. You were honored to spend many happy years together with your lovely pooch. You even loved it when he chew your favourite shoes and you enjoyed all the crazy situations you got into… you were happy to take long walks… the woods, the meadows, the streams, the lakes and the fresh snow… and when you had to visit the vet because he got hurt… Oh, the way he looked at you.. Like he would open his mouth and say something to you int he next minute. Why? There was no reason for him to do so, as you perfectly understood each other, right? Right…

 

Then comes the stage of bargaining: ’Yes, but he could still live for another week or two. Or just ten minutes…’ ’Why not try something new to keep him here?’ ’I’m sure there’s something we could do to save him…’ When you realize that there’s nothing you can do to save him, you suddenly feel desperate, distressed and sad. Very very sad… Your sorrow becomes the strongest emotion in your heart. All your other feelings hide somewhere deep. You feel helpless and fall apart…

 

Faith, love and trust - from cradle to grave and beyond
Faith, love and trust - from cradle to grave and beyond
Photo: csakegykutya.lapunk.hu

 

Slowly you accept that it's impossible to change the past. Your beloved people are still around you. Maybe you have already thought about adding a new dog to the family. Don't feel ashamed! Because there's another furry life out there, who lost his family. Or probably has never had one till now. And he's waiting for You. (Let me ask you to visit a dog shelter, dear Reader.)

 

I’m telling you once again, just to keep this in your mind. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Your old pal would want you to be happy. According to psychologists, our grieving is mainly caused by our egoism.  It’s an egoistic feeling as the one who passed away, doesn’t feel pain anymore. But we, who stay here, do. And it hurts badly. We are alive but we suffer because we miss all the ones we have lost in our lives.

 

"Dogs are too good to live on this earth, that’s why they leave so early."

 

Love Is Forever. And he gave it all to You.

 


First appearance of this article: 2014. August 27.

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